She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
