I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
