it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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