so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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