dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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