hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
