it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
