my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
