Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just pee around me
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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