I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
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