Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
