totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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