I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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