I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
