it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
