I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
