I think scott just propositioned me for sex
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
