My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We talked him into tasing himself.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
