69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
