Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Randomize
