I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
