too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We're too hungover to prance.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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