I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
