If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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