Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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