Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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