I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
