I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
