my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
