Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
