I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
