Duck Duck Cougar?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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