dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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