HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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