They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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