Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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