Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
