Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
