You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
