Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
