I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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