Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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