She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
