3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize