My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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