i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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