Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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