If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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