is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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