Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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