The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
