Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
