Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
